Today is the greatest…

I’m not sure what makes today different from yesterday, or the day before that. I’m not sure what I did that changed everything. But something happened.

Today I carefully entered everything I ate into my new Fitday account. Today I sat around on my balance ball instead of on the couch. Today I danced for cardio. Today I had a glass of water with dinner instead of Diet Coke. Today I acted like my body and the things I do with it, the things I put into it matter.

I’m not sure what’s changed, but I like it. Here’s hoping it doesn’t stop with just today.

 

Note to Self:

Dear Chrissie,

I’m sorry. I’m so so so so sorry. I’ve neglected you in every way possible, and let you down in more ways than I can count. I’ve fallen into bad habits, into an unhealthy life style and skipped down a road that is certain to lead to more unhappiness and more depression.

Chrissie, you deserve better and I’m sorry.

I can’t promise that this is me turning over a new leaf. We’ve both been there before and I know that you know better than to trust me with radical changes of actual life style. But at least I want you to know that I know what I’m doing, I know that it’s hurting you, but I have a problem and I don’t know how to stop, but I am willing to try.

Despite the abuse and the neglect I do love you. I think you are smart and brilliant and hilarious and so blindingly kind that it’s amazing that you don’t glow. I know that I’ve been standing in the way of all that and I’m sorry.

We’ll work this out, I promise. Together.

I love you,

Chrissie

 

With a little help from my friends

The past couple of weeks have been weeks of reconnection for me. Not only have I reconnected with my family but I’ve also been getting in touch with friends that I haven’t spoken to for years. It’s been a time of rediscovery and discovery, of quiet contemplation, needed conversation and thoughtful silence. It’s been a time of loss and stress and recovery.

I’m OK and with the help of my friends and my family I will continue to be OK and maybe even manage to get myself up out of the slump I’ve been in for a few years now.

I’ve been living my life on autopilot for a while now and while it’s been an interesting ride it’s not a sustainable style of life. I’m tired. I need to make decisions. I need to ask myself difficult questions and face difficult answers and see where that takes me.

So this year’s new year resolution (which I’m getting a jump start on) is to get to know myself because frankly it’s time that I stopped living with a stranger.

 

Thanksgiving 2008

Today I am thankful for my friends and family, whom I know that I can turn to in my times of need. I am thankful for vegetarian foods and cruelty free products and family members and friends who put up with my lifestyle quirks. I am thankful for my health and despite a lack of progress I’m thankful for the support of all the people following this blog.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone.

 

Christmas Wishes

A few years ago I decided to be a Christmas Card Sender. To that end I bought a couple boxes of Christmas cards. Of those boxes I haven’t sent a single Christmas card, not one. In fact I completely forgot that I had them and didn’t realize that I did until I unpacked after getting back to Kansas (where the cards were purchased). Whoops!

So this year I am going to send them all. I have an abundance of cards. I have an abundance of family members but not as many family members as cards which is why I’m turning to the Internet for help.

Would you like a Christmas card from a person from the Internet that you’ve never met? I bet you do!

Email your address and as much of your name as you’re comfortable sharing to granola.chic@gmail.com and you’ll get a spot on my card list. I promise that I won’t expect a card in return. I also promise not to sell or use your identity for anything nefarious (unless you think Christmas cards are nefarious).